Bites - After KITES

Director: Hey! So, you've got some time?

Hero: Mmmm... How much time?

Director: Say... Two and half years. Not more.

The producer joins the conversation.

Producer: Oh! Thats not much! We could go forward if you have a strong script

Hero (disappointedly): Dad! Strong script? So, thats the focus now?

Producer: Arrey Bheta! I'm just practicing already for the many press conferences we have to be in. Just getting into the feel.

Hero: Fine then. Lets get to business. I have quite a few learnings from my last chic flick.

Director: Like?

Hero: I got a fan mail from a woman that said, just before the climax of the movie, she climaxed. We need to improve the turn-around time. Intermission should be our focus.

Director: Well, I've not added that to the script. We'll put a song where u could wear an unbuttoned sleeveless shirt and show it all off. [After a short pause] Before Intermission.

Producer: I like the way you narrate. Keep going!

Hero: Next! I can dance really well. So...

The director cuts him off.

Director: Say no more. I'll get the music director to tune up a song where u can dance your whatever off.

Hero: Fantastic! I think you're winning my interest.

Director: So, where do we shoot? Goa?

Hero: Hey! You said two and half years. We'd better try and see a lot of foreign countries.

Director: So, LA, Las Vegas and Mexico? What say?

Producer: Yeah Bheta! Sounds like an idea.

Hero: And about the heroism factor, I'd want to careful about it. Last time, I think I crossed the line.

Director: Well, we can keep you running with the bad guys chasing most of the time. And in the end, you can jump of a peak and die. How'd that be?

Producer: Hey! But, he can't die. Have Indian Heroes started doing that already?

Director: Your son could be a trend setter in that area.

Hero: Sounds like something I could do. We'll work on that. If it comes out good, we'll pick it up.

Director: Sure sir. Next, about the heroine. Sameera Reddy?

Hero: Well, I want two. One HOT Indian and one foreign chic.

Producer: Foreign chic? Why exactly?

Hero: They pull off bikini and two piece scenes considerably easier. Also, if we could get a foreign language involved, we could confuse the audience for a while.

Director: Ok, why two?

Hero (in a depressed tone): No Triangular love? And makes a puppy face.

Director: Sure!

Hero: We'll decide whom I'm dumping, later.

Director: Ok. Foreign locale. Foreign chic. Noted.

Producer: The stunts should be surreal.

Director: Sure. Cars, Buses, Bikes, Parachutes - everything would fly around the place.

Producer: This is just a start. I have all the money to crap.

Hero: Cool. I've got a rich dad. Don't forget the many chase scenes and the many gun shots and blood wrath.

Director: Of course of course!

They complete the discussion of almost everything.

Producer: So, lets check if we have everything we need.

Director: A rocking dance, the mind blowing physique of your son, unbuttoned sleeveless shirts, Indian chic, Foreign chic, Bikini & two piece scenes, Triangular love, Chase scenes, Surreal stunts, gun shots, blood wrath and jumping off a cliff. From your side?

Producer: Many press conferences, my son praising the foreign chic for no reason, exaggerated interviews and a bot for incrementing the hits in the internet. Anything else?

Director: You're one of the best producers I have ever worked with.

Producer: Cool. Whats the story?

Director: With all those in the list, we can make something up. Mad movie goers will give us the returns by the opening weekend. And a confusing screenplay will blow the audiences' pretty dumb brains off.

Producer & Hero (unanimously) : Wow! You're one of the best directors we've ever worked with.

And the movie called BITES went on floor.

Jump the Shark

Saturday, 15th May 2010 was one of the most important days in my life. Its a day where I proved that I'm brave enough to face grave danger. Well, considering the present situation, people might have guessed easily that I watched Suraa* yesterday. But, that's just not it. I went one step ahead and saw Aasal* as well (on the same day).

But, I'm not going to talk about Aasal. Its too late now. Again, reviews about Suraa have been floating around for a while. But, I'm writing this just to prove wrong those dodos who think the movie is nothing but a piece of crap. The entire lot is mistaken. For all I say, Suraa is an epic movie, portraying different talents of various technicians who have handled different technology with the niche of a exquisite craftsman. We should call it Vijay's Magnum Opus for all the effort and brilliance that has been put into it.

PVR charged me Rs. 135 (15 bucks extra for online booking). Well, does it sound costly? I'd say different. The protagonist shoots himself out from the middle of the sea and swims to the shore like a shark with the tinge of dolphin style jumping. Ten minutes into the movie and I've seen what is worth 75 bucks. What a lovely way to introduce the hero and justify the title of the movie! Keep it up! The BG for the title song was good. Though nothing but a Rahman tune rearranged, it was pleasant.

So, the movie goes about rib tickling the audience then and there. Well, then comes this interesting turning point of the movie where Suraa is disguised as a Sardhar Customs Officer. He and his friends shoot nothing but a set of what I can only call Diwali-Rockets at a smuggler's boat. The deceived smugglers cry out loud that they are attacked using Rocket Launchers by the Indian Customs. Wah! Sheer brilliance! The movie is already worth 300 bucks. Isn't it?

"He is so stereotype. Doesn't bother changing his looks for every movie and is hesitant to join the six pack gang", a popular statement about Vijay. Finally, he decided to do something about it in Suraa. I'm sure he sat down and thought about the various troubles he could go through. Poor guy, had he the thighs of Ajith in Attakaasam, he'd have reduced multiple kilos and proved it. He did not go Surya's way building his body (Vijay is pretty ok body-wise) or Vikram's change of looks (Thank God he did not). In the end, he decided to wear a jet black leather jacket, a tight black t-shirt and a tie (like) on top of the T-shirt throughout the second half of the movie. Well, whats the big deal in that? Try doing it in the Chennai weather and you'll know. Hats off Illaya Thalapathi!

Stunt sequences need a special mention. They have rented out L&T cranes that make horror sounds, as Suraa beats a couple of hundred people. Well, to make it seem natural, that the sequence is happening in a construction site, these cranes continue to keep working. Except that they are lifting air (which is very heavy) and putting the air from one side on to the other. Well, I've not explained this part that well. You gotta watch it.

I can see that the director was very particular that he establish his aptitude for technology in Suraa (easily understandable from the Rocket Laucher scene, yet, one more comes). The Villain employs Chinese/Japanese programmers (they looked like Nepalis though) to program a bomb that could only be detonated/switched off (as in chuich off) remotely from a boat. "Ha Ha", laughs the gagged up Suraa. Well, he was intelligent enough to invite the Villain's family as chief guest to the function that is to be bombed. What are the odds that the villain, the goons and all the programmers evacuate the boat that chuiches off the bomb, to hit Suraa black and blue. Rookie Mistake!!!! Lucky they were, that Suraa could untie himself and jump onto the remote boat and chuich off the bomb (actually he pulls out every single wire in the surrounding). I wonder if he unzipped his pants as well, just in case, you know! Phew!

So people who think this is a bad movie say so, only because they are ignorant to see all the greatness! Hail the Team Suraa!

A lots of good and true things have been told in this movie about politicians, land mafia and the plight of the fishermen. Only, I don't think the messages conveyed haven't sinked in because the audience were too busy laughing their a**es off! :)

I've not mentioned Vadivel or Tamanna because they are all masked with the unintentionally funny gimmicks of the daring Shark! :)

*Suraa (means Shark) - Latest movie of Tamil actor Vijay**

*Aasal (means Original) - Latest movie of Tamil actor Ajith**

Vijay & Ajith - Two jokers of Tamil Cinema who don't realize that Superstar is what he is because of 25+ years of hard work.

PS:

1) The phrase, "Jump The Shark" was born as a metaphor for when a show (TV series) completely loses and forgets why people watch it. :)

2) I like Vijay and Ajith as actors, yet so irritated with what they are doing these days. Fans excuse the review! :)

Happy Birthday

It was just this normal Monday for the rest of this world. For me, it was my first day @ work, in a company that I once thought - too much to expect, you are not gonna get a job there. 29th September 2008, the day I was all dressed up in formals, wore across my torso the business bag my Dad gifted me, got onto my bike like I was a hero and rode up to the foot hills of Thiruparankundram, Madurai.

It was not an entirely new environment. I knew 3 of my to-be colleagues beforehand - One my classmate, two a guy I met during the interview and three a guy from college whom I knew as this counter strike genius. I had met him during a counter strike tournament where my team returned unsuccessful (of course in the first round - well, I was in the team and what more can u expect).

Three of my teammates, who were geniuses too (in the game), were talking to him - His team had a one way ticket to the finals. He was surprised by the fact that Sparrow's team had come out in the first round and they were talking to each other in a language understandable only by the cream of a crowd called GAMERS. I maintained this low profile of looking away during the entire GAMERS stand-around conference.

Throughout the meet, this guy seemed to ignore me. Well, I thought he knew that talking to me would neither be knowledgeable nor interesting (almost half of the college knew that - news spreads u know). However, I did not bother that he din give a damn because I knew only his name and the fact that he is a Counter Strike Gethu. I met him a few of times after that. One memorable time was during the my Accenture placement. When they were giving out offers, the HR remembered that two of the guys selected can sing well. Me & another guy Raghul sang a number each and I definitely sang well enough to be noticed. He was running around helping the people who got the offers (He was the placement co-ordinator for his department I guessed).

Coming back (to 29-09-2008), we were all seated in this so called "reception" (the company called that compound so). I was sitting along with this classmate and the interview guy. We were just discussing how its going to be, checking out all the trembling trainees walk in, one after the other. Soon, this chap walked in. He was dressed like a professor, with glasses and all, appreciably formal with the ropes of his back clinging on to his body. I did not get him immediately.

Slowly it settled in - the counter strike guy. I had totally forgotten that he had been selected too. He came in with one of his classmates (I never knew him from college, but he had a very familiar face). The two came in and sat next to my classmate. They got to talking and started cracking jokes. I joined the conversation and it was going on fine until I added a line and they laughed at it.

He stopped laughing all of a sudden turned to my classmate and said, "Who is this?"

Well, I first thought that it was about this interview guy who was also a part of the conversation. But, the finger was pointed at me.

My classmate said, "Sriraj! CSE. Amrita. You don't know him?".

"Ettimadai campus?", he reacted.

"Yeah. We've met before. During the counterstrike tournament?", I tried to ring a bell.

And I quoted many more instances including the singing during Accenture placement. But in vain. It was like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Rachel's sister Amy thinks Ross sold her a philaphel. :(

And thats when I got to know Mr. Aneesh Ramaswami. Sorry sorry sorry. Aneesh Sphinx Ramaswami, the counterstrike wizard, the well learned professor, Atlas puli (not tamarind, Tiger), an excellent blogger, passionate biker (esp the bullet), F1 Kirukkan (Mental) and my brother (the best of all tags huh?).

Happy B'day Bro! I never knew I could know someone so well so fast! The best in your life is yet to come. Your day is just on its way. There's no better time than your birthday to tell you how grateful I'm, to have met you. Thanks for this wonderful ride for the past one and half years. Have a great time!

Happy B'day! Have a Blast! :)

Loads of love, affection & bums

Chiju

14th May 2010

:) :) :)

Marina Beach, Chennai, June 2009

The Dark Knights

Off late, I've been writing a lot of flashback. The thing about nostalgia is that I have never had to think, to put it in words. Its like when you are drunk and you get going. And to kindle it, it takes not more than one IM in facebook by your buddy, like, "vaada thattukadayil povam" (Come on, Lets go to the Roadside Food Joint - in Malayalam). Well, Kanz pinged me today and Chiju Speaks follows. :)

There is a dark side to everyone. A subterfuge from all the normal stuff: studies, responsibilities or "relationship" tension - to mention a few. The side that assures you: there is life other than what is doctored. This is about the dark side of me and my fellow knights.

When all your world is asleep and you say, "Its just 4AM", thats when the Dark Knight in you is unleashed. Keeping count of the kick ass nights spent back in Coimbatore is impossible. Thanks to our university, we had at least 3 full months of semester vacation every year. Every night spent (or wasted) for exams were compensated during vacation.

Aashirwad Nights

We (Me & Dad) used to live in Aashirwad apartments for almost 1.5 years. We had a great terrace there. Hanging out in the terrace, sitting on topof the water tank facing the Nilgiris (Ooty Hills), combined studies (esp the Astrophysics exam night), the so many topics (from cinema to politics to technology to mokkais) and playing cards. I wish I could go there once more and live through it all over. So, the WE is actually Me, Dad, Vivek, Vibushan, JP, Vijay, Deepak, Anandh, Kanz, Raghul and an ocsasional someone.

 

Astrophysics Exam Night - The two guys on the right actually had Chemistry the next day!

Aashirwad, 29th April 2007

Race Course Walks

A walk around the Race Course, probably after a heavy dinner or before a night @ Aashirwad defines an hour plus of chatting, laughing, photographs, a mid-night coffee day visit and a fantastic ride back home. Life was great! :)

 

(Left to Right) - Deepak, JP, Vibu, Anandh, Vijay & Vivek

Race Course, 23rd September 2008

Counterstrike Nights

Laptops all around the room, LAN cables running haywire everywhere, a silent night that turns so violent and heavy once the earplugs are placed properly. Playing CS through the night with Dad's Buttermilk or Mountain Dew to boost the warriors at game can't get any better.

Sp@rrow? Should we plan up a counterstrike night before Vibu flies off? Probably during your 5-day vacation in Chennai?

 

Vibushan's place

After a sumptuous dinner from Aachi Mess, we came back to study for our Data Structures semester exam with lots of plans (to study of course) and little mood to do so. We were taken aback by the preparations Vibu's parents had made for us to sleep comfortably after studies. Little did they know that their son and his feckless friends are going to bet on who's gonna flunk tomorrow over a game of cards and sleep through the night.

We were playing cards (of course in the name of studies) on a Sunday afternoon (one dark afternoon). Vibu's dad opens the door all of a sudden and gives a very strong stare. "Bushan! Come here!", he says and the tone gets us instantly to pack up everything and prepare to leave, only to see Vibu bring a tray of tea and biscuits back into the room.

We broke down a very old but strong and big double bed. I know what you're thinking, but Vijay Krishnan was there too. Vivek (the only guy who found guts) told Vibu's dad and we realized why we were all closest to Vibushan's parents that day. :)

 

Vibu's place - and this is the bed we broke! :P

August 10th 2007

Can we live a life like that ever again?

Veyes Towers

Staying alone during college is fun. You move into a bachelors mansion and 2 months later Kannan, this guy from your class finds a room there too. A few post dinner chats in the terrace of the mansion and you find a great friend called Kanz who kindled you to write this post! :) Dude, I'm not filling up this space fully. You know why!

Magic Show

A video we shot for our Seniors' farewell. What we planned for 2 hours took us 2 months. We have spent hilarious nights for this. It did not come out as we thought it might. But, shouts to Deepak who, not only did the experiment, but also took us along. Not getting into the details here either.

Project Nights

Two different projects (5th sem & 8th sem), Two different teams, Two entirely different areas and Two similar things - 1) Fun 2) I did only documentation. :P

 

Vivek's Big Project Plan

Vivek's House, April 2008

The Last night

After packing up to Madurai, JP and Vibushan stayed at my place till 3AM in the morning to drop me and Anandh in the bus stand. We rode through Aashirwad, talking about all those great night-outs.

The knights separated that night. :(

Anyways, as I sit here, this night, looking back at all those moments, I'm tagging the knights who should definitely write right about this. :P

1) Vivek of Occam

2) Vibushan - The Gemini

3) JP & His Train of Thought

4) Kanz, Mayavi of Memories

5) Vijay Krishnan - He had a blog (don't know where it is)

6) Deepsman, the knight with a difference

7) Anandh (Dai, At least comment on this - or why don't you start a blog too?)

8) Raghul, My project mate :P

Guys, I know I haven't written in depth. I want all of you to fill the gaps. You all know where you have to. :P

Escape

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 10; the tenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I was ignorant about the concept of the earth spinning around an axis. I was five years old. Anything that went circling used to get me to my nerves easily. For instance, the ceiling fan was my biggest nightmare if I woke up in the middle of the night. This supports the fact that I've never sat on any of the rides @ Exhibitions/Theme Parks or wherever. From the giant wheel to a simple Merry-Go-Around horse ride, everything had a phobia effect on me.

It was during those phobia days....

My mom, my sister, Murthy Uncle, Rajeev anna, Bhagyam Aunty and a few unknown relatives were standing around us. Rahul and me waved at them once, twice, thrice and every time we came near them, and moved away. We waved till our necks could twist and then turned away. BAM! They came into view again.

We were on a Merry-go-Around Swan Water ride for the age-group 3-5 years in SL World, Bombay (back then). I was proud to have overcome my fears and sat on this ride. I must confess that I sat on it only after I was assured that it goes around at a speed much less compared to how fast they push the Merry-go-Round @ School.

The ride went on for sometime with an occasional elevation of the compartment we were seated. I started looking into the water and it was such a treat. I was having a great time watching the patterns of ripples forming. Gradually, the ride came to a halt and the kids started getting down, one compartment at a time.

For a kid who had so many phobias, I was not the kind who was subtle. I had the mix of a criminal mastermind as well. So went my thoughts, "How nice it would be to step into the water? Chiju! This would be the best moment to do it". And I did it. When the turn came, Rahul did a good boy of holding the hand of the guy who was getting us out and stepped out. I casually put my leg on the other side and stepped into the water. Everything went fuzzy in the next few seconds.

What was I thinking? I'm gonna walk on water, or its not gonna be deep enough or I'm a child prodigy and have won Gold for swimming in the last Olympics. The truth is, I wasn't thinking at all. I just wanted to do it and went ahead.

There were shouts of surprise, fright and terror outside. As I started drowning I could hear all the voices that said "Chiju", "No", "Aiyaayo" etc. However, they became muffled sounds in a few seconds and I started struggling to come up. I'm sure some would have thought, "That's it!"

Then, the Hero (someone who worked there) jumped into the water. and got me out as if I was a tennis ball in a bucket of water. I hadn't passed out or anything. Though I did a lot of puking and had to go all the way home feeing sick. This is the story of My Escape! :P

The best part was when, one grandma came and asked me, "Indha pakkum kaala vekkarathukku, Andha pakkam vechutiya da kanna?" (You stepped on the water instead of stepping on the land by mistake right?) and I nodded as if I knew nothing! :)

PS:

1) Finally, Century! :) Dear Readers and Commentators - Thanks a lot. You people are the best! Keep Visiting. Keep Motivating. An I'll keep writing crap! :P

2) I wanted to write a Coimbatore Era - Part III for my 100th post. But, I had to escape. :P Sometime later.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.