Don't be a stranger

There was once a time,
To forget it, would be a crime.
The stage has now by gone,
The play though, is still on.

To recount this over and again,
My voice takes quite a strain.
You know this little quirky tale,
Lived long it has, and become stale.

To erase the past, safe it's not,

Spoken words, have become what?

The present, my friend, is all we have,

Forget not, we carry that we carve.

This strange new face, about I wonder.

Shades it has, makes my mind wander.
Is this grey mask newly worn?

Or the old mask, now thrown away torn.

Beauty and strength there to see
Are like green leaves on a tall tree.
Drained off color, they will fall,
To be stamped and crushed by all.

Success, my friend, is so strange.

Formless it is, and can change.

Character, you can shape only once.

Build it well, while still there a chance.

Oh my friend, you're in a dream,

And you will wake up with a scream!
For a world you paint, dear artist,
Has never been known to exist.

Oh my friend, you fly high.
Wings - you have, I don't deny.
But, a bird, away you fly past,
Is a bird less that's left to last.

Flap and fly, and go farther
And higher, and even further.
May you grow taller and stronger,
But, my dear friend, don't be a stranger.

If only

Like any other software affected engineer, he would have been coding and testing, complaining loudly about the stupid process that many of us follow, just for the sake or to blindfold the process audit team. If I listen carefully, I can hear the very words he would have been telling about all that did not make any sense. I never pictured him sitting in front of a computer for a job, but he was definitely more than capable to excel in it. Who knows? Maybe he would have ended up in a core company (mechanical engineering based). Yeah. He would have been perfect in one of those heavy-weight industries working on huge machines, not worrying about what attire he wore or how to for-the-sake impress his supervisor, but sincerely concentrate on what was his duty.

If he was in Chennai, which is typical him (can't imagine him anywhere else), Santosh and me would not only be picking the other up for the regular night shows, instead we'd be on two bikes with him as the pillion rider with one of us. We would have been laughing at his gimmicks and unbiased criticism about the over made scenes in a bad movie. In fact I can for sure say that he'd have been Santosh's roommate and it would have been fun going over to their place and listen to them pull each other's legs. How different it would have been for so many people? It pains that I could only write about this an it would never ever happen. Rajeesh succumbed to blood cancer, the same day, five years ago.

I knew him only like any other classmate. He used to wear a big streak of sandal on his forehead everyday. He was this typical mallu boy, which was marked clearly in his Tamil accent. We were all just a set of nine-year olds who knew nothing much, other than to fight for silly reasons and not even remember any of it the next moment. I have fought with him so many times (actually I've fought with everyone as part of being the jerk of jerks), but there was no much connection with him, at least not any that comes to my mind. We used to go to the same Hindi Tuition in 6th standard and we used to play cricket at his house if we could squeeze in time before/after the tuition. I used to really scared to enter his house because of his dog.

Towards the later half of our 10th standard a set of our classmates used to play cricket everyday in a ground near his house. It used to be fun teasing him and have him tease me back for not being able to catch the ball even if it was thrown straight at me (the Chennai 28 Premji Amaran type). Thats when I got to know the proper him. To say that he was God-fearing is an understatement. Anyone who has spent little time with him would have noticed him praying then and there. I don't think he has even hurt a mosquito in his life. We were getting along really well and as fate had it, he was denied admission in our school for eleventh grade. A stupid mistake made by some office staff lost him his admission even though he had gotten enough marks to get in. The worst part is that the school staff blamed him of submitting the application late, which was a bloody lie. He had to go to another school and we lost touch again.

We are meant to cross paths with some people no matter what. I was so happy to hear that he got into Amrita, but he was in mechanical department. He was not the regular college student type. He was different and everyone knew it. People including me used to tease him in and out for each and everything but he was such a sport. Well, he knew me well enough to hit back at me and shut my mouth. A year passed by and we had so much fun with visits to ARC Pani Puri Stall after getting down from the college bus, couple of movies and the hilarious best of all, the combined studies. He used to teach me Engineering Mechanics without which I'd have flunked in the first semester only. But, it took one more semester to bring out the true potential in me. I flunked Electrical Engineering. It was horrible. No complaints. I did not learn crap. However, the 3 Idiots formula of "If your friend fails you feel bad, but if he passes you feel worse", worked well with me. All those I thought would fail with me had gotten through and a shattered me went home. I was waiting for my dad to go out so that I could burst into tears and cry and thats when I got his call.

"Sollu da. Evalo GPA?", I asked him. ("Tell me. Whats your GPA?")

He burst into laughter and said, "Maths and Electrical pochu da". (Flunked in Maths and Electrical).

My happiness knew no bounds. For a second, my dad thought someone had called me and said that I hadn't failed the paper. I hung up and went straight to meet him. The next month was actually the best of all times I got to spend with him. We learnt together and cleared the backlogs in the supplementary exams. Third semester classes began and on the third day we got the results of the supplementary and I went to the mechanical block and celebrated with him that evening.

Little did both of us know that it was his last day in college. He fell sick that weekend and got admitted to the hospital one week later. The next I saw him at his house, it was the Rajeesh I knew wouldn't laugh aloud or tease me for he lay motionless totally not bothered about the people crying beside him. That is the first time since I have known him that he did not empathize the people crying around him. Its been five years now, which does not matter because his memories would never fade, for anyone who have known him.

That day!

Far into the future,
When success is a crony,
The doleful past behind you;
A sanguine curve on your lips.
That day!

Every step in your way,
With courage, you overcame.
The bloody foot-prints left behind,
Only to look back with pride.
That day!

Every passer-by you pick up,
Discloses a tale or two.
The simulacrum makes you wonder;
All the tales you saved to share.
That day!

Long after the banal phase,
With many dreams destroyed.
The ones that matter - you rebuilt;
All traces of the pain long lost.
That day!

Far into the future,
When you travel back here,
Lessons for the ones you made.
Win the smile you were promised.
That day!

PS: All that shattered was once built from scratch. All it takes, is the will to look back and smile with pride.

Happy Birthday

It was just this normal Monday for the rest of this world. For me, it was my first day @ work, in a company that I once thought - too much to expect, you are not gonna get a job there. 29th September 2008, the day I was all dressed up in formals, wore across my torso the business bag my Dad gifted me, got onto my bike like I was a hero and rode up to the foot hills of Thiruparankundram, Madurai.

It was not an entirely new environment. I knew 3 of my to-be colleagues beforehand - One my classmate, two a guy I met during the interview and three a guy from college whom I knew as this counter strike genius. I had met him during a counter strike tournament where my team returned unsuccessful (of course in the first round - well, I was in the team and what more can u expect).

Three of my teammates, who were geniuses too (in the game), were talking to him - His team had a one way ticket to the finals. He was surprised by the fact that Sparrow's team had come out in the first round and they were talking to each other in a language understandable only by the cream of a crowd called GAMERS. I maintained this low profile of looking away during the entire GAMERS stand-around conference.

Throughout the meet, this guy seemed to ignore me. Well, I thought he knew that talking to me would neither be knowledgeable nor interesting (almost half of the college knew that - news spreads u know). However, I did not bother that he din give a damn because I knew only his name and the fact that he is a Counter Strike Gethu. I met him a few of times after that. One memorable time was during the my Accenture placement. When they were giving out offers, the HR remembered that two of the guys selected can sing well. Me & another guy Raghul sang a number each and I definitely sang well enough to be noticed. He was running around helping the people who got the offers (He was the placement co-ordinator for his department I guessed).

Coming back (to 29-09-2008), we were all seated in this so called "reception" (the company called that compound so). I was sitting along with this classmate and the interview guy. We were just discussing how its going to be, checking out all the trembling trainees walk in, one after the other. Soon, this chap walked in. He was dressed like a professor, with glasses and all, appreciably formal with the ropes of his back clinging on to his body. I did not get him immediately.

Slowly it settled in - the counter strike guy. I had totally forgotten that he had been selected too. He came in with one of his classmates (I never knew him from college, but he had a very familiar face). The two came in and sat next to my classmate. They got to talking and started cracking jokes. I joined the conversation and it was going on fine until I added a line and they laughed at it.

He stopped laughing all of a sudden turned to my classmate and said, "Who is this?"

Well, I first thought that it was about this interview guy who was also a part of the conversation. But, the finger was pointed at me.

My classmate said, "Sriraj! CSE. Amrita. You don't know him?".

"Ettimadai campus?", he reacted.

"Yeah. We've met before. During the counterstrike tournament?", I tried to ring a bell.

And I quoted many more instances including the singing during Accenture placement. But in vain. It was like in F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Rachel's sister Amy thinks Ross sold her a philaphel. :(

And thats when I got to know Mr. Aneesh Ramaswami. Sorry sorry sorry. Aneesh Sphinx Ramaswami, the counterstrike wizard, the well learned professor, Atlas puli (not tamarind, Tiger), an excellent blogger, passionate biker (esp the bullet), F1 Kirukkan (Mental) and my brother (the best of all tags huh?).

Happy B'day Bro! I never knew I could know someone so well so fast! The best in your life is yet to come. Your day is just on its way. There's no better time than your birthday to tell you how grateful I'm, to have met you. Thanks for this wonderful ride for the past one and half years. Have a great time!

Happy B'day! Have a Blast! :)

Loads of love, affection & bums

Chiju

14th May 2010

:) :) :)

Marina Beach, Chennai, June 2009

The Dark Knights

Off late, I've been writing a lot of flashback. The thing about nostalgia is that I have never had to think, to put it in words. Its like when you are drunk and you get going. And to kindle it, it takes not more than one IM in facebook by your buddy, like, "vaada thattukadayil povam" (Come on, Lets go to the Roadside Food Joint - in Malayalam). Well, Kanz pinged me today and Chiju Speaks follows. :)

There is a dark side to everyone. A subterfuge from all the normal stuff: studies, responsibilities or "relationship" tension - to mention a few. The side that assures you: there is life other than what is doctored. This is about the dark side of me and my fellow knights.

When all your world is asleep and you say, "Its just 4AM", thats when the Dark Knight in you is unleashed. Keeping count of the kick ass nights spent back in Coimbatore is impossible. Thanks to our university, we had at least 3 full months of semester vacation every year. Every night spent (or wasted) for exams were compensated during vacation.

Aashirwad Nights

We (Me & Dad) used to live in Aashirwad apartments for almost 1.5 years. We had a great terrace there. Hanging out in the terrace, sitting on topof the water tank facing the Nilgiris (Ooty Hills), combined studies (esp the Astrophysics exam night), the so many topics (from cinema to politics to technology to mokkais) and playing cards. I wish I could go there once more and live through it all over. So, the WE is actually Me, Dad, Vivek, Vibushan, JP, Vijay, Deepak, Anandh, Kanz, Raghul and an ocsasional someone.

 

Astrophysics Exam Night - The two guys on the right actually had Chemistry the next day!

Aashirwad, 29th April 2007

Race Course Walks

A walk around the Race Course, probably after a heavy dinner or before a night @ Aashirwad defines an hour plus of chatting, laughing, photographs, a mid-night coffee day visit and a fantastic ride back home. Life was great! :)

 

(Left to Right) - Deepak, JP, Vibu, Anandh, Vijay & Vivek

Race Course, 23rd September 2008

Counterstrike Nights

Laptops all around the room, LAN cables running haywire everywhere, a silent night that turns so violent and heavy once the earplugs are placed properly. Playing CS through the night with Dad's Buttermilk or Mountain Dew to boost the warriors at game can't get any better.

Sp@rrow? Should we plan up a counterstrike night before Vibu flies off? Probably during your 5-day vacation in Chennai?

 

Vibushan's place

After a sumptuous dinner from Aachi Mess, we came back to study for our Data Structures semester exam with lots of plans (to study of course) and little mood to do so. We were taken aback by the preparations Vibu's parents had made for us to sleep comfortably after studies. Little did they know that their son and his feckless friends are going to bet on who's gonna flunk tomorrow over a game of cards and sleep through the night.

We were playing cards (of course in the name of studies) on a Sunday afternoon (one dark afternoon). Vibu's dad opens the door all of a sudden and gives a very strong stare. "Bushan! Come here!", he says and the tone gets us instantly to pack up everything and prepare to leave, only to see Vibu bring a tray of tea and biscuits back into the room.

We broke down a very old but strong and big double bed. I know what you're thinking, but Vijay Krishnan was there too. Vivek (the only guy who found guts) told Vibu's dad and we realized why we were all closest to Vibushan's parents that day. :)

 

Vibu's place - and this is the bed we broke! :P

August 10th 2007

Can we live a life like that ever again?

Veyes Towers

Staying alone during college is fun. You move into a bachelors mansion and 2 months later Kannan, this guy from your class finds a room there too. A few post dinner chats in the terrace of the mansion and you find a great friend called Kanz who kindled you to write this post! :) Dude, I'm not filling up this space fully. You know why!

Magic Show

A video we shot for our Seniors' farewell. What we planned for 2 hours took us 2 months. We have spent hilarious nights for this. It did not come out as we thought it might. But, shouts to Deepak who, not only did the experiment, but also took us along. Not getting into the details here either.

Project Nights

Two different projects (5th sem & 8th sem), Two different teams, Two entirely different areas and Two similar things - 1) Fun 2) I did only documentation. :P

 

Vivek's Big Project Plan

Vivek's House, April 2008

The Last night

After packing up to Madurai, JP and Vibushan stayed at my place till 3AM in the morning to drop me and Anandh in the bus stand. We rode through Aashirwad, talking about all those great night-outs.

The knights separated that night. :(

Anyways, as I sit here, this night, looking back at all those moments, I'm tagging the knights who should definitely write right about this. :P

1) Vivek of Occam

2) Vibushan - The Gemini

3) JP & His Train of Thought

4) Kanz, Mayavi of Memories

5) Vijay Krishnan - He had a blog (don't know where it is)

6) Deepsman, the knight with a difference

7) Anandh (Dai, At least comment on this - or why don't you start a blog too?)

8) Raghul, My project mate :P

Guys, I know I haven't written in depth. I want all of you to fill the gaps. You all know where you have to. :P

Down the memory lane - I

I was driving a Unicorn by the Nehru Stadium. The last of the shops were shutting down, I was sure it was past 11PM. There was no haste, whatsoever. I let my thoughts play on their own and they were well in sync with the late night September Coimbatore weather - pleasant than ever. My mind breezed into the past couple of days. Well, I should say that is way better than rocketing into the future.

*Concentric Circles Revolving begins*

We have played Pictionary before. But, last night was so much more fun. Vijay, Vivek and his cousin on one team, and, Me, Vibushan and Vivek's sister the opponents, it was the best set of games we'd ever played. Vijay and Vivek were on their best entertaining spree with so many jokes. I had to force myself to sleep, unable to stop replaying the fun.

Today was nothing short. We had thrilling rounds of Counterstrike in the morning and afternoon. We got to chatting for a while and met Harini Maam at her place. Again, all of us laughed so much that I can't recall all the jokes; they were all in such quick succession. JP joined us late and we had our dinner at Alankar Grande. It all began over dinner, with this personality quiz that I asked Anandh. The quiz went like, I'd give them a word and they should tell what comes up to their mind and that relates to their priority in life. Coffee was one of the words and Anandh came up with "morning". Can you blame him??? Well, that's the specialty of out gang. Coffee actually mapped up to sex and the idea of Anandh, coffee, morning and sex was so hilarious that we were laughing so loudly and for a long time. There had to be an end to it and as per plan we headed to Race Course for a good night's walk.

*Concentric Circles Revolving begins*

I was driving along K.G.Theatre (now Big Cinemas), with Anandh behind. We were almost there. As my lips curved into a smile about the fun filled days, a Hunk zoomed past us and the guys on the bike were roaring with laughter. From the sounds, we could say it was JP and Vibushan, still laughing over Anandh's coffee joke. :P

Race course, our favorite spot for relaxed but chatterbox walks, was nothing less that night. Deepak joined us at Race Course and we completed the round slow by time and fast by realization. We clicked many photos of TR style, Sam Anderson style (again, food for Vibu and JP's laughter - they were on a roll that night) and so on. Past midnight, we left race course and headed straight to my place. We played cards for a while, and my system playin all our favorite tunes. After cards, Vivek and Vijay wanted to call it a day, while, Vibushan, JP, Deepak, Anandh and me settled in the portico for a long chat.

It was past 4AM. We had to sleep. We arranged mats and bedspreads in the hall and lay down to sleep. The small leftover talks were fading away. Talking to murmuring to whispering to silence and we were stay put. It was like that for a while and my mind again wandered to take in one of the biggest changes about to happen in my life. I had to shift to Madurai the next day. A big load of packing and shifting work awaited me in the morning. All this hanging out had come to an end. Four years of college had taught me to understand, mingle, and love. The last lesson, probably, the toughest of all, to separate had to be learnt. My heart sank deep and I knew I had to cry, in fact I was almost there. Suddenly, a roaring sound diverted my thoughts.

JP and Vibushan were still in form, laughing at Anandh for his coffee joke, adding a TR interview joke here and there. In fact the entire personality quiz of Anandh was so hilarious and I'm sure he knows that too. :) :)

Sriraj

Coimbatore

24th September 2008

Those were the best days of my life.

Valentine's day special

For a change, this post is not about my Coimbatore trip. I'm writing it from there though. :P Too many tags for this one though! :)

"I don't believe in the concept of a day dedicated to love", Goutham Menon, said in an interview today.

One part of me thought, "Very true!!!". If so, why did I argue with Sphinx who told me the same thing, a couple of days back?

The other part repeated, "If we brush aside Valentine's day like that, what about birthdays? As if we are dedicating only one day for our birth in this world and behave like inferis the rest of the time."

Later, I saw a Google Buzz (the latest time-whiling introduction or replication by google) of the great blogger Mr. Occam. He was wondering that Feb 14th actually depicts the murder of a priest and why would one want to celebrate it. Again, valid point, but soon, I read a reply buzz that it is not his murder that lovers are celebrating, but his beliefs.

I somehow looked forward to this Valentine's day, because, Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya, a movie I have been yearning to see (more yearning t hear actually) was supposed to release, day before yesterday. However, it did not and that was the first of the disappointments this weekend.

Last year, this day was more of a hype because of threats that lovers seen celebrating Valentine's day would be compelled to celebrate their first wedding day or rakhi today. This year, I believe all the threats to My Name is Khan eclipsed Valentine's day. Let's leave it at that.

Still, we all live in a democrazy people. So, here's a Happy Valentines day to

1) People celebrating their Thala (not Ajith) Valentine's day (I mean with whomever they are seeing right now).
2) All the other lovers in this world.

To all the broken hearts, you were at least so close. Its probably for the best. Your day is on its way. Keep going!!! :)

PS:
1) Prayers to all the martyrs who lost their lives in Coimbatore 12 years ago, for no mistake of theirs. The day and its visuals are still afresh in everyone's mind, I bet. God bless their families.
2) @Google: Personally, I feel Buzz is a great idea. That's for the record, ok? All my readers are witnesses.
3) Sorry for the spelling mistake, I noticed it late. I know how democrazy is spelled. Sorry, democrazy. Oh Shit! Again. Well, Democrazy, is it???
4) @People of Mumbai: Cheers! Once more you proved that you are one of the bravest set of Indians. Well, a small example that a little of democracy is still alive. Aaha!!! Got it right this time.

The Moon ride

A fun filled end to 2009, I should say. Overlooking half a dozen people who left us behind, the family has something to look forward to in 2010, which will see two wedlocks and thats good to keep us going for a long time. Further, I'm a would-be uncle to two kids (twins) from April '10. Brushing aside all mourning and sadness, we danced to the fastest tunes possible on New year's eve. New year in Cbe was back with a bang.

After all the celebration, some real estate research, routine work and a very special catching up, I got into for what I'm going to demand season tickets in future - ABT travels (Coimbatore/Chennai). The bus was not as good as always; the seat was smaller, space between the front seat lesser and so on. I was definitely not comfortable. The AC hadn't started to bite me yet, it was pleasant than it would be when I get up in the morning. Known for the perfect timing, the bus started sharp half past nine.

I did not have my headsets, which ruled out listening to songs. Hence, I decided to catch up with some old friends and started calling one by one. After a couple of calls, that lasted altogether for half hour, my dad couldn't take anymore (sitting next to a person catching up on the PJs cracked in college is not as easy as it sounds). When I hung up on the second call, he asked, "Do you need my mp3 player?" and I accepted it with gratitude.

I plugged in the headsets and tried to tune in Radio Mirchi or any other FM channel, but none of them had anything that I wanted, so I switched to my Dad's Harris Jeyraj collection and sank into the comfort of my pushback. As I rested my head, I was looking straight out of the black, transparent, sealed window, right up to the sky.

The moon, white with distorted black marks, a diameter of 5-8 cms (from my view) was travelling with me. I couldn't appreciate it at first, well, I would say, except for a couple of times in the past, never have I. I was reminded of a movie where a guy says that he looks at the moon when he missed someone and he could see that person there. At that time, I thought, well, the script writer had tried to break the laws of video conferencing. :P

I was just looking at it with my mind all blank, eyes open to the occasional texting. It was literally following the bus, well, it could have actually been inside the bus as a co-traveler. I kept looking at it, and it slowly started to sink in what a beautiful sight it was. A small ball of light kept me company, like a ray of hope amidst pitch silence. The player went into playing "Azhiyilae" from Dhaam Dhoom. The plucking sound in the background and the soothing vocals blended with the scene. It was definitely romantic and I had agreement on that.

I played the song over and over again and kept staring out. At times, it would go out of the sight, as the bus followed the highway and I would have to either adjust the curtains or wait for the bus to come back on track. This happened for a long time and I never knew I fell asleep, until around 4AM when I woke up and found my mobile still on my lap and a void where my companion shone bright till I remembered.

Oh fellow traveler!

I see in you,

Maybe what I missed.

Or what I may have now.

For time should say,

What I would retain?

Hope is all I carry,

Worries are all put to bury!

The silence, the light,

The happiness, the love.

Tonight's moon ride,

Would stay forever with pride!

Once again, Happy New year everyone! Lets together wish for the coming true of all that one hopes for and that one goes places in 2010.