Marked with shame

A minor portion of today's population has only lived during the days of freedom struggle. Most of this generation know about British ruled India as excerpts from the history classes they managed to stay awake and still listen, or from movies in which the depiction of the then India hit the right chords. A film like Indian where the hero and heroine celebrate their love for the nation by singing "Kappal eri poyaache" (Boarded the ship and left) portrays their patriotism, or so we may think. Yes, the patriotic feeling is definitely there as straight-forward and dedicated characters of that movie.

Thinking about it, how many thousands of couples, families, friends and most importantly Indians would have celebrated their love for each other that midnight, August 15th 1947. How many of those thousands do you think would have thought about the nation as a whole?

Everyone?

No, I wouldn't count on that. Though thats the big picture, don't you think a mother would have been thankful that her children would not have to go through what their forefathers suffered? Don't you think a father would have been thankful that his children, unlike him did not have to think twice about feeling at home in their own nation? Don't you think a teacher would have been happy that he could finally impart knowledge about the diverse and wonderful heritage of the nation without fear of being watched?

Obviously, it would have been a long long night, don't you think, partying and enjoying (in the 1947 style). But, when the nation went to sleep, there would have been the satisfaction of waking up to a free country, something that they had been dreaming for a long time.

The truth is that the satisfaction lasted only for a very short span, in some cases, only that night. I know you are nodding your head if you have woken up today, to the 30th September 2010. Well, what can I say? I'm just quoting "The common man" from The Wednesday (Unnai Pol Oruvan).

What did I do? What did you do? Why should I leave office at 2 PM today, when I have been working hard for the past 3 months? Why should you work from home today, when you've not hesitated to come to work even on weekends? Even if you had a severe head-ache you think twice, you think about the deadlines, you think about losing the job and most of all, your conscience tells you go on with a rub of Vicks on your forehead. True or not? I'm badly in need of that Vicks which will help me get rid of this disease that affected me because I have no choice.

Don't we all have so much in our kitty already? I have a colleague who comes to office leaving her one year old daughter at home. Everyday, she calls up home to check if her baby has eaten, slept, has any problems and so on. She is not working to live like a queen. She has her own ends that should meet. Yes, her salary is way better than the average salary of an Indian, yet it doesn't come to her for free. She sacrifices a lot, definitely more than the loss that came to a "spiritual" person (person is a common noun - any individual ANY INDIVIDUAL) who din have an "official" place to pray.

Whatever be the outcome of today, what is going to be built on a place that, in the name of God, but actually fanaticism, claimed the peace and happiness of an entire nation, according to me does not pass as a place where I can find God (again GOD is a common noun - ANY GOD)! I'm no atheist, yet I think God is someone who gives me shelter. Don't you think this is the other way around?

Every time I see a mail or a mention about why I should be "extra" careful today, it pains me. I feel like my life is taking a big, deep dive into the ocean of shame. I feel like I've not lived here for 23 years. One may wonder why I'm making a big fuss about it. Can't I be a bit alert for one day? I can. If there's a tsunami alert, I'm not going to complain that I'd not be able to spend an evening with my girlfriend at the Marina Beach. Its not that I have a girlfriend, but I'd like to have the options. If there's a cyclone formation alert, I'm not going to crib that I need to carry an umbrella/rain-coat. Well, I'd be happy if the Home Ministry is as good as the MET department. When the MET says its going to rain heavily, it most often doesn't. I always feel that a natural disaster such as an earthquake is nature's way of telling mankind to slow down. Maybe, its trying to convey that nature has evolved patiently over thousands of years to attain this degree of strength and beauty.

Today, we did not wake up fearing a natural disaster. The disaster that we all have been warned, the precautions that we have been advised to follow tells us in simple words to hang-down our heads in shame. And 99.9% of us have willingly come forward to do it. The irony is that some people including me are more worried that if everything did not go our way, we might not be able to catch Endhiran on October 1st, 2nd or 3rd. :(

I know that like me, there are millions of people who claim "If I have 10 people with me, I can bravely fight those elements that is trying to shut me in my home for political and economic benefits". But, there is the issue that has not been fixed till date - "But, who will bell the cat?" I've not written this long post to draw that this is the way things are going to be and that the cat is waiting to pounce anytime now, so its time run for our lives. What difference are we going to make? What can we do about this? I say ignore the cat. Yes, the cat will come after a mouse at a time. If there are 10 rats and only 1 cat? If there are 50 rats, 500 rats, 5000 rats or say 5 million rats and still a considerably less number of cats, its still doesn't matter.

The only thing that counts, no matter how many of us there, is how united we stay. How we interfere to help another, how that every one of us matter to every other person and how each of us try to look upon the other as his friend.

I can't change anything.

You can't change anything.

We can. My point.

Easily said, impossible when attempted is a very valid argument here. How can someone who can't love/forgive another person going to attempt this voluminous change? How can someone claim to be spiritual by fighting for a place to pray and cause harm to a fellow being? We say that the CWG situation brought us shame, where people from other country are worried about the living conditions in the CWG Village. What is happening today? Aren't we ourselves worried about the living situation here? Which is the bigger shame?

Its 3AM already and I'm going to bed, my heart pounding with anxiety and echoing with shame, with a dream, which our forefathers thought came true on 15th August 1947. The words are mine. The voice is on behalf of a billion. Be Safe today! Jai Hind!

That day!

Far into the future,
When success is a crony,
The doleful past behind you;
A sanguine curve on your lips.
That day!

Every step in your way,
With courage, you overcame.
The bloody foot-prints left behind,
Only to look back with pride.
That day!

Every passer-by you pick up,
Discloses a tale or two.
The simulacrum makes you wonder;
All the tales you saved to share.
That day!

Long after the banal phase,
With many dreams destroyed.
The ones that matter - you rebuilt;
All traces of the pain long lost.
That day!

Far into the future,
When you travel back here,
Lessons for the ones you made.
Win the smile you were promised.
That day!

PS: All that shattered was once built from scratch. All it takes, is the will to look back and smile with pride.

Sounds of Silence

All the world's gone dark,

You could bring the lost light.

All the sky has gone grey,

You could spray it blue bright.

Beneath all the exhumed truth,

Lies an obfuscated proximity.

Behind all the promising faith,

Pricks a familiar uncertainty.

I wish you can see it -

A subterfuge to be broken.

I know you can change it -

To a world so ebullient.

Is it an inviolable sin to ask,

A mind to share the joy.

Is it an arrant mistake to wish,

A hand to wipe the tears dry.

To look back is dreadful,

A messy scurried past.

To look forward lies with us,

A future that is not yet lost.

I wait here for the benison,

It may be today, or never.

I stand here as the sentinel,

It could be impermeable forever.

Time to move on

Time and tide waits for none

Its been a while since I wrote something here. Twitter has been taking care of my venting needs and not being active @ work has slowed down the traffic to the association areas of my brain. Once in a while, a momentary rush of guilt helps me use some of the time productively.

Last weekend I was in Coimbatore for my Periyappa's (Dad's elder brother) first anniversary. It was a five day process involving lots of rituals, gradually getting tailored by the generation. On Friday, I visited college with Vibushan and it was a nostalgic experience. From the time we parked the car and stepped in, until the time we came out and picked a bone with our animus security staff, it was trademark college. However, the usual excitement and thrill of being in Coimbatore or visiting college was obsolete .

Saturday and Sunday were completely booked for family except the little time spent at music class. Yeah, that was a great experience. Every July, my music school celebrates a two day annual event where all the disciples render songs as a tribute to the Sangeetha Moomoorthigal*. When I went for practice on Saturday, a batch was singing thillana for the chorus. It took me back to the childhood days where I was one among the 15 or 20 singing the same thillana. This is my 12th annual day there and I asked my teacher if I could be a part of the chorus this time.

Saturday night, it was again family time, when me, my cousins Srinath, Srikanth, my athai (Dad's sister) and Srikanth's wife Priya sat around chatting. It was more like a jamming session because we were singing all our favourite numbers like Cham Cham, Khwaja, Anjali and so on. Priya was making me sing number after number and I was so reminded of my Periyappa who used to do the same. Whenever he had visitors, if I was there, it would be singing time for me. He used to call it Sadhagam (practice) time. I couldn't believe that he is not there among us enjoying all the music and fun.

Sunday saw the last of the rituals for his anniversary. I felt time should actually be moving slower. It just seemed like I got down from the bus on Friday and it was already time to leave. I had this discussion about how I had always wanted time to move slower except during my college days. And that, even during college there was one reason why I wanted things to move slow and so on. In the end, the weekend was all about memories and missing stuff.

Well, not only the weekend, its been like that for a while. It has been making me wonder if I'm making this a big deal and if its worth it. The reason is that I look around and the people who are supposedly part of the memories have stopped to care, or at least seem so. Probably, they are bored of the whole good-times system. The funny part is that those who blame me of having made new "friends"(as one would fixate on the quotes for the word) and not care anymore seem to have forgotten where I live. A whole other perspective makes me understand that we can't blame anybody just because we are still the same and stubborn to accept change and move on.

I sat through the return journey coming up with a whole new "its-time-to-move-on" plan. Its a simple to-do list towards a productive life rather than blabbing nostalgia forever.

Its time to move on, for memories accrue, time doesn't.

"Time is the Healer.

Time Moves on,

Time don't wait for anyone.

You tell me you'll be back,

But that'll take sometime.

I'm waiting... "

I've always been amazed by the above lines. Simple but so true. :)

*Sangeetha Mumoorthigal - the musical big shots Thyagaraja Swamigal, Sri Muthuswamy Dixithar and Sri Shyama Shastri.

Centuries ago, Centuries later

Centuries ago, there lived a couple called Sorimbe and Avipaa, by the banks of the Ganges. They made a living out of the agriculture in the piece of land they had. Though, it was a hand-to-mouth kind of life, they lived contented and tried to save as much money they could. They were hard-working, truthful, helpful to the neighbors, thankful to whatever they had and fearful of God!

God was taking his yearly census of good, bad and ugly (appraisal); he noticed the good nature (kiss ass) in Sorimbe and Avipaa and decided to give them outstanding. So, he appeared in front of them and blessed them with good health, ample wealth and a donkey. As an appreciation for their addition in devotion, he broke the convention and gave them a promotion (Sorry for the TR mode); he told them to wish for a boon (performance appreciation). Avipaa, first thanked God for all that He had given them till now (feedback) and added that they wanted to have a child so that they can bestow all the care and love; God blessed them with a baby girl. He told them to name the girl as Nellaranma and the donkey as Hatalizethuhu.

With the health and wealth, Sorimbe expanded his farm (not farmville) and did the bread winning, meanwhile, Avipaa took care of Nellaranma and Hatalizethuhu. Soon, they prospered good enough that their farm grew to such an extent that they hired workers from the nearby villages. Eventually, there were no homes in the surrounding villages, that did not have earnings from Sorimbe's farm. Even Avipaa did an excellent job of bringing up Nellaranma to a beautiful young lady. Also, Hatalizethuhu was well-trained to help in the farm, for Sorimbe's transport to the market and other household work.

As their status grew, Avipaa only became more innocent and humble, whereas Sorimbe was becoming rude, selfish, lazy and greedy. He was treating the workers very badly by being a miser in giving them their wages, getting them to work so impractically hard and not considering their feelings. He had become so money-minded that he even got Hatalizethuhu to work thrice harder than before. When Avipaa noticed something and asked about it, Sorimbe used to lie and the innocent she is, believed it all.

One day, Avipaa reminded Sorimbe that it was high time that they got Nellaranma married. She suggested that he go and talk to the landlord of the nearby village, whose son seemed to a perfect match for her. Sorimbe was definitely not in a mood to get his lazy ass up and do the job. So, everyday, he gave Avipaa some reason or the other to keep pushing it away. Finally, one day, when Avipaa pressed so much, he replied that it was the month of Margazhi and it is bad to proceed with any good deeds till it got over. Months later, Nellaranma's marriage got fixed and when asked about the date for the marriage, Sorimbe, who did not want to start working soon for his daughter's marriage, said, performing marriages in the month of Aadi is not good omen.

The marriage happened, days passed by, Sorimbe(Somberi) kept becoming lazier, Avipaa(Apaavi) kept believing Sorimbe's stories, Nellaranma (Nallaneram) got married and went off to another place and Hatalizethuhu (Thalaiezhuthu) kept working harder but sincerely, though at some point it realized that it was God who predestined its life.

Centuries later, people still believe that Marriage (a fantastic thing) has to be put away during Aadi (July15th - August 15th). Infact, if you go through the checklist, man, its tiring (not to fix a date, just to read the checklist once). I was amazed at the fact that the registrar office is not busy at all during Margazhi (Dec15th - Jan15th) because its not good to buy houses during that time, or for that matter its even inauspicious to start working for the most auspicious things. People don't buy houses that has the gate straight opposite to a street or opening (they call it Moola Kuthu in Tamil). If you tell me that some drunken lorry driver is gonna come and gate crash, then probably it is a valid reason. These are just three weird things. Yet, there are so many million rules in this society. I just broke one rule today! :)

I just believe, there is no good time to do anything bad and no bad time to do anything good. What say? :P

Glossary (:P)

Somberi - Lazy

Apaavi - Innocent

Nallaneram - Good Time

Thalaiezhuthu - Fate

PS:

1) I saw the eclipse today for the first time in my life. It was so beautiful. Please get over the myth (if applicable) that its inauspicious to see the sun/moon during an eclipse. Of course, looking at it directly is not good for the eye. Use coolers or an x-ray film and look at it the next time. Its awesome! :)

2) This would be one of the bed-time stories for my kids, in future.

Cricket 2009

Well, this is the first time that I am writing about PC games. People who know me would never discuss PC games with me. Dangerous Dave still remains my favorite game . Counter Strike is another.

However, Cricket is one PC game i used to play since my childhood. Thanks to EA Sports & Brian Lara Cricket, I have loved to play Cricket on my computer. Now lets walk through a couple of cricket games that have been released and played a lot of times.

Cricket 97:
Very well appreciated for its graphics, considering the technical advancements at that time, Cricket 97 was famous. The "Howzaaat" sound made by the players, every time a wicket fell, would never be forgotten by anyone who has played the game. One other memorable thing about the game is the way the batsman used to crumple, with an "Ohhhhhh" from the crowd, when he gets hit by the ball.

Brian Lara Cricket (1999 I suppose):
Though I had not played the game as much as i had played Cricket 97, it was a good one with improved animation and clearer faces of the cricketers.

Cricket 2003 (or 2005):
I don't remember the exact year. But, the game had improved difficulty levels and simulated the real game in an even better manner compared to the previous versions.

Cricket 2007:
This is the latest version that I'm playing even now. However, I would not give any positive feedback (Refer SKOAR for a good laugh). With all the players' names misspelled, the quality has definitely deteriorated, except for a better look.

Cricket 2008:
A few sites claim that inclusion of the IPL patch to the 2007 version is this. But I am not very sure about it.

Although all the above mentioned versions are famous and successful, the fan base for playing PC Cricket is gradually decreasing. However, here might be what Cricket 2009 would be like. (Just to spice up the sales a bit, you know)

Cricket 2009:
Scenario:
The objective of this level is to successfully transport the players from their hotel to the ground.

Time Limit:
10 Minutes

No. of Attackers:
12